The Hair Irony

"Don't you think it is time for Natasha to get her hair cut?""Amma asked Papa enquiringly.Papa nodded in approval.My heart sank,the moment I've been dreadfully waiting for has finally come.Amma has noticed that my hair has grown long,that is up to the level of the nape of my neck.I clearly knew the ordeal that was to follow,I had gone through this many times.An unhappy Natasha will walk along with papa to the nameless barber shop at Chevayur.I'll be seated in the swivel chair next to papa and the old man will begin his job,scissors in the right hand,comb in the left..Tears will roll down my face with each lock of hair that fell on the floor.But the merciless man had no qualms about a little girl's tears.He was totally dedicated to the job that he was entitled to do.He would continue his work nonchalantly and at the end ,he would give me one of the finest boy cuts.

This isn't the end of the nightmare.I hated going to the school after having a boy cut.Those tactless peers would taunt me with a shower of insults.

"Ayye!Now you have turned to a motta"

Back home I would place my wounded heart before Amma.How could she do such a big crime to a girl who had grown up hearing the fairy tales of Rapunzel.Even Samson had his strength concentrated in his hair.
To run salt into the wound,there was Nandita at home with her hair up to the shoulders.While she stood before the mirror plaiting her hair on both sides,tying it carefully with a black ribbon,I stood there staring at her enviously,brushing my hair for the umpteenth time and readjusting my black hairband.

"Why don't you allow my hair to grow,Amma?"I'll ask her longingly.

Amma always had solid reasons for cutting my hair.

"Only if you cut your hair will it grow thicker".I didn't get the logic behind her answers.I was no budding film actress,I was perfectly happy with the thickness my hair had.
I begged,I implored,I cried,I sulked,I grumbled,I screamed,I expressed a whole gamut of emotions from sadness to madness.Alas!All my words appeared to have fallen on deaf ears.
Amma once said "Whatever you pray for on Good Friday at three o'clock will be granted because that is the time when Jesus died." That boosted up my wounded spirits.I pulled myself together and started to pray.For four years I made the same wish ,even a saint would have lost patience by this time.
The situation turned worse when Amma decided to master the art of hair cutting with poor Natasha as her experimental specimen.Till that time, the hair cutting ceremony had enjoyed the privilege of getting procrastinated.But now, everything started happening in a jiffy.As soon as Amma notices(no,I feel she was watching for it) that my hair has grown,she would run for the scissors.I would sadly watch my precious hair being swept away and thrown into the trash.
At last,I chose the only option that was left.I decided to patiently wait for the time when I could have long hair.Nandita had long hair when she was in the seventh standard.That meant after two years I can say 'No' to haircuts.
But,destiny had different plans.A very unpleasant incident occured in my seventh standard that caused a sudden drastic change in my attitude towards long hair.
At that time the four of us, Papa ,Amma ,Mathew and me would leave home at 8:45 so that Papa could drop Amma at her college which was in the town.On the way back,Mathew and me would get down at the school.
I simply loved these trips to the town when I would put my head out of the window and enjoy the strong breeze that was blowing,it always boosted up my energy stores.But unfortunately,,the breeze would have played all the 'windy' games on my hair .So,by the time,I reached the school I'd a Medusa head appearance.On the destined day,I saw my class teacher staring at me during the morning prayer section.I wondered what kept her looking at me that way.Anyway,she didn't keep the suspense for long.
"Natasha!Stand up!what have you done with your hair?!!"
I proudly gave my hair a gentle stroke,it was beginning to grow.
But the teacher had other plans.
"Do you have a comb now?"She asked.
"No!"I answered,quite surprised at her question.Who would be carrying a comb in the seventh standard?!!
"Does anybody in the class have a comb?"She was not ready to leave me alone.
I was almost sure that there would be no one.To my surprise,Ritu proudly stood up and produced a comb.I felt like whacking her head.She handed me the comb, avoiding my sour expression.I was already struggling in the sea of embarassment and now she has come to push me down further.
"Go to the back of the class,comb your hair neatly and then take your seat!"
I wished I could miraculosly develop some wings and just fly away.Everyone in the class was enjoying the drama,except me.Not only did they find it highly amusing,but it also took away a part of the boring social class that was to follow.With a heavy heart,I went to the back and hastily combed my hair.I pretended to ignore the hundred eyes that were staring at me.
But the wicked teacher was not planning to end the fun for the rest of them.
"Now is this the way to comb your hair"She chided.
Ahh!!Now my hair style didn't please the young lady!
"Ritu!Go help her with the hair"
Ritu obediently left her place and combed my hair.That seemed to satisfy the teacher.I returned back to my seat,with a self image completely torn apart.
A dejected,bitterly disappointed Natasha returned home and told Amma
"Amma,please cut my hair!"
By the time,I reached the high school,the wind of change was blowing.There was a change in my attitude towards everything.The old story of Rapunzel was forgotten.I noticed that every lady who made a mark in the history had short hair-Margaret Thatcher,Indira Gandhi.Well,even queen Diana had short hair and I wanted to be no exception.So,I willingly obliged each time Amma felt like cutting my hair.
I had my last boy cut in my ninth standard.After that I always had hair long enough for a pony.
After joining the college,I started having frequent haircuts especially after the exams.After every exam(which invariably turns out into a big flop)I take the decision to turn over a new leaf.As the first step towards changing,I always cut my hair.Even when I know that it is insane,I seem to do it again.So sadly,I never had the luck to see me in long hair.
Now,Catherine Zeta Jones and Samvritha Sunil have replaced Ms.Thatcher and Ms.Gandhi,I desperately want my hair to grow long,up to my waist.My friends gave me a lot of tips to magically make hair grow long.I chose the cheapest and easiest of all of them.
Hair massage
For the past one week,I've been giving my hair frequent massages.
Yeasterday when I went to the church one of my friends asked"Hey!You again cut your hair?!!"
That was the end of the massage sessions.

The barbar shop from where I had my boycuts as a child is still there.I hated the shop not only because of the haircut ,but also because it had no name.What if someone asked me "Hey!where did you get the haircut from?" what was I to say?!!I was too ashamed to admit that it had no name.

It was a single room,not very spacious and could attend two people at a time.The shop was owned by an old man,later his son joined him in the business.Amma always said that the oldman did a better job though I couldn't make out any difference.Both of them made me look ugly,I felt.Usually papa and I had our haircuts together.Some men would be sitting by the side reading the newspaper discussing a whole range of issues from politics to the recent price hikes of the onion.(similar to what is seen in some malayalam movies)I would be silently crying,trying to grab the oldman's sympathy by giving him a helpless glance with my swollen red eyes.(it was fruitless)

Almost every male in Chevayur had their haircut from this shop.The next nearest shop was in the town,so the shop was crowded most of the time.Even Mathew used to have his haircuts from this shop until recently.

Three months back a new saloon was opened in Chevayur,in the road opposite to the old man's barbar shop.Spacious,airconditioned and with an alluring facade'Your Style' men's saloon easily attracted crowds.But it certainly lacked the rustic beauty of the old shop.Mathew visited the shop the first week itself.He returned with his new haircut one hour later(the shop was so crowded that he had to wait for a long time).He was completely satisfied with the work-they used some electronic equipments,he told me excitedly.

The old man's shop was almost always deserted except for a few old customers occasionally.When Mathew was getting ready for his next hair cut I asked him to visit the old shop for a change and he scoffed at me.Papa still has his haircuts from the barbar shop,though.

Play of Colours!

As my next semester begins the next week,I decided to get a new bag.A new semester is similar to a new year at school,besides I've been using the same bag for the past two years.So off I went to the town to buy a new bag.I always take Amma with me,I don't think very high of my aesthetic senses.Also if I buy something by myself,Amma is sure to find some fault with it.So,taking her along is the safer and better option.
We screened through a lot of bags.The final match was between two bags,a blue one and the name of the other color,I don't know,but all I can tell is it pleased my senses.I looked at the price tag,the one with the 'nameless colour' was costlier.This seemed to enhance the beauty and poise of the second bag,the blue one seemed less appealing.
"I'll take this one.The blue one seems a bit grotesque.Besides this one has a bigger side pocket and the material also seems to be stronger.This will last long".I spoke like a veteran who had handled a lot of 'materials' to make out the difference.Anyway,my argument seemed to convince Amma.
We took the bag to the bill counter.As we were standing in the queue,Amma asked "Wait,don't you think the colour is a bit different now?".Here,my eyes cheated me.I couldn't make out any difference."You must be imagining,Amma.".I shrugged off the question.
A happy Natasha landed home and proudly displayed everything before papa.As I took the bag out I could definitely make out a difference.The pleasing colour has transformed into something bland and dull.I couldn't believe my eyes.I looked at the bag at different angles hoping it would miraculously revert to the old colour.Alas!It stubbornly maintained the new colour,which I can easily describe.It is almost similar to the colour of cow dung,at least that is what I'm reminded of each time I look at it.My heart sank into a sea of disappointment.
The only option left for me is to sit and curse Murphy for actively carrying out his job even during Pooja holidays.
I can't change the bag now,I have already removed the price tag.(Murphy always does his job in perfection,leaving no loop holes to escape).I may have to take my old bag,I can't bear to carry something that has the colour of cow dung on my back.But,I have no excuse to tell Amma.She has always been complaining of me always buying things and never using them.Using the old bag will give a boost to her rantings.
Even now,when I go to my room,I pass a quick glance at the bag,hoping for a sudden magical change.But the more I look at it,the more faults I seem to find.Now,I feel the bag lacks symmetry,it seems to be less broad and too long and the colour is more bland than ever before. Bruised heart,a bad way of starting a new semester.Sigh!!
Hail!Murphy.

The boy who hated ice creams

'I scream,you scream,we all scream for ice creams' Mathew also screams when he sees ice creams,but fortunately for me, what he lets out is a scream of intense dislike.Mathew hates ice creams or any other cold dessert.I remember a 'Thennali Raman' story where he gives his cat a bowl of hot milk straight from the stove to drink.The poor cat unaware of the prank,greedily takes a big gulp from the pan.After this nightmarish experience,the sight of milk made the cat shriek and shudder.But,Mathew's aversion for ice creams cannot be accounted for by any such horrible experience.
Here is the story of "The boy who hated ice creams",my fairy tale version of what happened to Mathew's senses on a destined day in his kindergarten.


I went for a one day tour to Kappad in my fifth standard.At the end of the day we were given ice creams and there was a girl in my class who didn't like ice creams.I was surprised to learn that such people existed."How could someone hate such a lovely thing as a cup of ice cream." I thought.And just for a moment,I wished I'd someone in my family who hated ice creams(I didn't specifically say my little brother,actually I didn't think about it that way).

There was a fairy named Mandy who lived in the woods near Kappad.She was a good hearted fairy who was always ready to lend a helping hand,but she suffered from the incorrigible but benign ailment named forgetfulness.One day she was resting on the branches of a palm tree ,enjoying her nap,after the lunch.It was then that she heard a sweet little girl making a simple wish.The fairy was in a very good spirits that day,and it was also a long time since she used her wand.So she decided to shower her providence over the charming girl.

She flew over to the kindergarten in Presentation and decided to cast a spell over the innocent boy who was busy playing Hide and seek in the school ground.Now,by the time the fairy reached the school,she was exhausted.She had a long flight from Kappad to Presentation and her wings were hurting.She wanted to finish the job and return to the woods before dawn.She raised her wand,but suddenly she was confused..

"Now,what did the little girl want,was it ice creams or chocolates?" Mandy wondered.No matter how hard she thought, she couldn't make up her mind.. At last, she lost her patience and gave up.She was already late,the sun was beginning to set.She chose the only option that was left.

"Let the little boy hate both ice creams and chocolates".Saying this,she flew back home.

The fairy forgot to add that"Let his share be enjoyed by his younger sister" (I must say that this was a big mistake from the part of the fairy,especially when the boy had two sisters and one of them had clear domination over the other).

Thus,Mathew grew up hating both ice creams and chocolates.

"Why don't you just taste it?"I'll ask while happily devouring his share.

"It is so cold,my tongue gets numbed" He would reply

"Then why don' t you eat it after after sometime, It may suit you then"

"But,then it is isn't ice cream anymore" he would say.

Anyway,we didn't urge him to taste it many times,what if he unfortunately started liking the taste!!!

Luckily,the fairy had cast a strong spell,he never ate more than a spoon .Everytime we attend a marriage I always make it a point to get a seat beside him,I don't want anyone else to lay hands over his share.He knows that I'm utilizing his 'weak point' and he'll sulk while I happily savour his cup of ice cream.Sometimes,when he can no longer withstand seeing me relishing his share, he'll say "Next time I'll eat my share of dessert.You needn't set your eyes on it".
Ahh!!poor boy,I could empathize with him,He so wants to like the ice cream,but he is helpless.His taste buds have been created(I mean,altered) in a unique way,favourable for his sisters. In the beginning I was worried about these 'next times' when he has threatened to have his share.But,thanks to the dear fairy!!each time he tastes the ice cream,it seems to numb his senses stronger than ever before,that these tasting experiments seems to hike his repulsion to the dessert.So,now ,when he says "I'll have my dessert" I'll hand him the cup willingly,sometimes Ieven boldly say "O.K,but don't think I'll eat what you have licked!"
If ice cream is too cold,chocolate is too bitter for him.After taking a bite of chocolate,he puts on an expression like he has drunk a cup of kashayam.Watching this sight is indeed an exhilarating experience for me.He likes chocolate-wafer combination as in Munch,but simply detests dairy milk and five star.The latest choco-treat that I enjoyed was a whole packet of Hershley's nuggets,another pack of Ferrero Rocher(I simply love this one)that Deechechi sent us two months back.I had no worries as to whether the packet would be empty when I wake up the next day.Now,Mathew is fifteen.He hates many more things that ordinary people enjoy(extension of the spell?)pepsi,cococola,all soft drinks.
Once,Amma told him"Eda,you should never,not even for fun take a drink of alcohol."
He replied with sigh"Why should you worry? I can't even take a sip of soda!"

Proverbs with a twist

Mathew was running and jumping in ecstasy.Finally his second standard annual exams were over.He had two months of fun and frolic stretched before him.
"How was your Malayalam exam?"I asked.
"Eeeeasy"!!!I'll get a hundred".He answered,handing me the question paper.
At that time,he always gave a mark for answer when asked how his exam was.
As usual,I began the routine question paper discussion that we always had on our walk back home.
There were not more than fifteen questions.Even before I'm finished with the question he would say the answer.
We finally reached the last question,
'randu pazhanchollukal ezhuthuka' I read the question and gave him back the question paper.
I was startled hearing the answer Mathew gave me.I repeated the question,may be he had heard the question wrongly.Nope,the same answer again.All of a sudden, it clicked me,the logic behind his answer and believe me,I had the laugh of a lifetime.
"CHAKKAPAZHAM,ETHAPAZHAM"
Of course,what else could be a pazhanchollu for a six year old kid.

Betrayed!!

"Eeshoye ottukoduthathu arranu?"



It was my half yearly malayalam exam back in fifth standard.


We had a short chapter on 'Eesho' for the exam.I didn't give the chapter much importance.Being a Roman Catholic attending Sunday school for five years ,I fancied that I knew a lot about Jesus.So why bother to read it?,I thought.


I weighed the question in mind.I knew that someone did betray Jesus and that was why he had to take the cross.But,who was it???!!!I brushed up the bible I knew..Suddenly I was enlightened,I remembered Jesus telling Peter"You willd deny me thrice before the cock crows"


Ofcourse,who else could it be,I wrote my answer confidently


'Pathros'


Our teacher has not given th is questin in the notebook.So,only those who had read the text will know the answer,I thought.And,I have written the answer even without reading my text.I congragulated myself,I really am sharp!!.


Back home,as usual papa began the question paper discussion.He reads the question and I sit beside him(at a safe distance,there is every chance of him kicking me)and say the answer.But this time I was sure I did my exam well.We finished with the meanings,opposites and finally came my 'masterpiece' question.

"Pathros" I answered promptly even before he finished reading the question.

The rest of the story is obvious.He called Amma and Deechechi,all of them had a hearty laugh.

As for me, I was quite surprised to learn that Jesus had a disciple name'Judas'.My pride fell from the peak to the pits.I heard the story of 'Judas and the thirty silver coins' for the first time that day.But even then I felt that my answer was also right.Denying that he had never known Jesus is also a sort of betrayal,I thought.
Even now on the Good Friday I am asked"Do you know who betrayed Jesus?"

Day 2 after exams

Today is the second day after my exams.During the exam time,I realized how little I knew my subjects and I felt real bad about myself.The only option left for me was to take the resolution to prepare well at least for the next set of exams.
"Even if you do these exams badly it is okay,we'll seize the next chance" I told myself.
I decided to buy the text books for the next semester right after the exams and start studying hard the next day itself.I'm a very good planner,I chalk out ideal timetables(ideal becuase I don't allot any time for sleep) before every exam,even when I know that there is zero chance of me following them.
I was happy when I knew that we had ten days before our next posting started.That meant a lot of time to study,maybe I'll revise Anatomy as well,I thought.So,when I was back home after my last exam,I told Amma,"From today on I'm going to study hard,Amma".She looked at me in surprise,The girl had just finished her exams now and now she is going to study??!!
I put on a very serious expression,"I need money to buy the books for next sem.I am starting to study them from tomorrow"
"That is good,Natasha.Finally you have decided what is good for you.So,How much do you want?"
"Ten,thousand!you know medicine books are quite expensive."
"Okay,get them tomorrow itself,not having books shouldn't keep you away from studies."
I felt happy.Everything is going smoothly,I felt.A voice inside me asked "Do you think you would be doing all these?"I ignored the dubious mind.
I'd heard somewhere that if you share your future plans with someone you'll get more oriented and so I decided to tell amma my target for the next ten days.
"Amma,I'll revise my first year portions these ten days.My anatomy is very weak,you know!I'll prepare for my Kerala entrance as well.That way,maybe I'll get through them at least the in the second attempt"
It worked!!!Even the short talk got me charged.
"Maybe,I'll get the books today after papa comes.That way I can start studying tomorrow morning itself".
"Do whatever you want"Amma was getting bored with my flight of ideas.
I decided to watch a movie,just to freshen up before starting the study escapade.I'd ten CDs that Salil sir brought the other day.I decided to watch 'Taxi Driver',a movie I'd been longing to watch for a long time.I loved it,but by the time the movie was over I was exhausted.I couldn't get the books that day because I was asleep long before papa came.
Now two days are over,I've bought the books,allof them-Davidson,Harrison,Bailey,but have not yet opened them.
"Are you not going to study??"Amma will ask me,when she sees me wasting my time as a couch potato.
"Why,Amma!!it is vacation."
Hope I start studying atleast tomorrow.

After the exam fever!

At last,those dreaded exams are over.Finally,I can relax,I've got a ten days holiday ahead,something that came along quite unexpectedly(the posting was supposes to begin today!) and hence very precious.Of course,It is Calicut university,I should have been surprised if I didn't get a holiday.
Even before the exams were over I had begun to plan my post-examination days.Everything except studies seemed so sweet and beautifulfor the last one month.Even I had plans to begin gardening after these horrible exams.This even surprised me as I always groan when Amma asks me to water the few plants we have at home.That is what is so peculiar about these exams,it is like a spell ,turning on the beauty in everything that seemed bland before.And,that is also the time when my self esteem keeps falling in pits,conscience keeps pricking me every moment.
Exams seem to bring the bad side of reality to light.During the last one month,I realized how much I was lacking in self control,how hard it was for me to concentrate,how fast my grey cells got exhausted..and many more ugly truths.!
I hate exams,especially when I do them badly.
Practicals are not yet over,that still leaves a feeling of incompletion,I can't bid farewell to those books altogether.