I remember the seven year old me standing in front of the framed photo of Jesus kept in the hallway of our home and asking in the politest way possible "Eeshoye,enikku oru apple tharaamo?" (Jesus,Can you please give me an apple?). I was putting to test the novel and most exciting fact I learned at Sunday School that day. Miss.Clara, our Catechism teacher told us that whatever we ask Jesus would be granted to us, under one condition that we do it with utmost belief and sincerity. Now, belief is a tricky thing, she continued to explain, with a story. Once upon a time there was a very old lady who lived alone in her cottage. There was a huge mango tree in front of her house and every morning she would wake up to find her courtyard blanketed by a thick layer of deep-yellow fallen mango leaves. The old lady would pick up her broom and would begin cleaning the mess, muttering to herself on how unfortunate she was to begin everyday of her life with such a laborious and unpleasant chore. So one fine day she was enlightened, she remembered how Jesus has said in the Bible that even a mountain could be moved from its place if requested faithfully. If a mountain can change positions why can't a mango tree do the same, she thought to herself. So she began praying earnestly to God that the mango tree be moved to the backyard so that she could start her day doing something more enjoyable,maybe sip her morning coffee reading the newspaper sitting on the long arm chair in the verandah. Each day morning she would get out of her bed with great hope, expecting to see the tree having miraculously moved to the backyard. But unfortunately nothing strange or unusual happened. At the end of three days, the old lady lost her hope and became really agitated. She told God "Anyway, I knew that nothing magical was going to happen. But I just wanted to try in case it works!". The moral of the story is when we ask stuff from God it shouldn't be with the attitude the old lady showed, but with full confidence that however improbable it is it would be granted,Miss. Clara concluded.
I can't imagine why I asked specifically for an apple that day, maybe I decided to use the apple as a starter and later follow it up with my grand demands. But when I asked for it, I would say I had full faith, I expected an apple to pop up from the bare, scarlet, heart of Jesus right into my hands. But then faith is not a quantitatively measurable entity, so I can never tell whether I had enough of it. Anyway, I am now mature enough to understand that apples won't pop out of portraits like from a wending machine.
Is it because we don't have enough faith that our desires sometimes go unfulfilled? I definitely don't think so, although I don't have a logical answer to the question.
I had thought about updating my blog earlier this month on my birthday (when I turned 26, still getting adapted to the transition from 'Chechy' to 'Aunty') with a wish list and a side menu of resolutions needed to fulfill them. But as the genes of procrastination are impregnated in my genome in its extreme malignant form, it didn't happen until today. I get an occasional urge to write down my wish list coupled with revolutionary resolutions. It gives me a transient, false sense of happiness, as if all my dreams have been fulfilled, a virtual journey to the point of complete accomplishment. The motivation evoked by the resolutions also wanes off in a few days when I am back to my usual lazy self. But for me it is a way to boost up my low spirits, to bring some order and a sense of direction to my disorganized life.
1) To learn swimming by June 2014 before my residency begins.
2) To be half way through the process of learning a foreign language by June 2014 (Spanish being the chosen one right now).
3) To update my blog weekly.
4) To pick up the habit of reading books.
5) To be regular, systematic and organized.
6) To build up a happy family.
7) To be the pediatrician I dream to be.
8) To travel
9) To utilize time productively
Hope the energy drive lasts longer this time :-)
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