The Inconvenient Truth

It all began after watching the movie-Cinema Paradiso.The movie metamorphosed that dormant,imperceptible dream into a strong,trenchant desire.I loved the back ground music in the movie and I was seized by a mad,irresistible longing to play it all by myself.I'd always wanted to play a piano,but it was dumped along with all the other galactic childhood fantasies that I nestled.After watching 'Mastermind India' in BBC where those formidable men with a surplus dose of grey cells would answer mind baffling questions at lightening speed, I would be possessed by an intense,burning desire to enhance my general knowledge.But those were just the vagaries of a mediocre mind that vaporised after a day.But this time there was a palpable difference,may be growing up has pruned my dishevelled self a bit.
All circumstances were in favour of me taking music lessons except for a large gaping void,I absolutely had no musical skills.When papa came to know of my intentions he was stupefied.
"Natasha,You inherit your musical genes from me and I clearly know how horrifying they are!"He observed.
"Papa,I know that my songs are sickening.But here I'm making a piano play which needs concentration,dexterity..and may be a quantum of music sense, which I have!"I replied confidently.
"To play a piano,you need thalam and you have virtually nothing of it!"Papa spoke like a veteran trainer.
I couldn't fathom what he was saying as I was grappled by a strong delusion that I could certainly do it.I vehemently dismissed his judgements as 'outrageous and discouraging'(particularly from a father)and walked away.

'Royal Music school' was just five minutes walk from my college.Also,mostly I had no classes in the afternoon,so spending one hour once in a week cannot be considered as time consuming.So six months after watching the movie(the genes for procrastination are incorrigibly imprinted in my genes!)I set out with Dhivya to enroll for keyboard lessons.I remember that it unanticipatedly rained that day(even the heavens were alarmed at the task I was embarking on!).
I started getting nervous as I approached the place.I met my future mentor for the first time that day(He is one of the famous musicians in Kerala).One of my friends was already taking key board lessons from him and I'd particularly asked her if there would be a screening test.(which would invariably deny me an entry)
Pramod sir looked at us questioningly(I felt like he was searching for my kid who wants to take the lessons).
"I would like to take keyboard lessons,sir" I tried to sound as natural as possible.I perceived a flash of a certain emotion in his eyes which vanished before I could positively define it.
"So,have you taken music lessons before?"He asked me.
"No,sir.I never had anything to do with music."I assured him.
I had attended compulsory music lessons until my third standard.Our teacher taught us a prayer song each day. At the end of the term we had an exam for which we were to sing one of the songs we were taught.Those who were reluctant to sing were awarded F grade,while I who always sang was awarded an E.The irony of it is that I always thought that I was singing like a nightangle.I couldn't possibly tell him these dismaying truths of my past.
As he started searching his books for a proper timing,I quickly glanced at the classroom.I saw a little girl in pink dress(looked like five years of age to me)proficiently playing the key board.My eyes frantically searched for an older face,unfortunately I coulnot spot any.Athira had already told me that there would be only kids here,but watching it in reality was hard to swallow.I couldn't help feeling a bit uneasy,for the first time I asked myself whether my intentions were wise enough.But I had already crossed the Rubicon,now there wass no turning back.
"So,will Monday afternoon be alright with you?"His voice interrupted my sick thoughts.
"It is okay,sir"I replied,trying to maintain a calm demeanor.
"So,when do you want to start?"
The dominant impulse at that moment was to run away.
"Why don't you start now?"
I was visibly alarmed.I needed time to adapt to the fact that I would be sitting with a bunch of top notch Lilliputians for the rest of the classes.
"I'll come after two weeks,sir"I answered hesitantly.
"Why such a big delay?..He was surprised.."Okay as you say.Come after two weeks." He added after a pause.
I was relieved to leave the room.Later when I was back in my proper senses I felt I should have agreed to his suggestion and started taking my lessons on that day itself.
Anyways,I was happy,I finally joined for music lessons.

Day:One
The first day he taught me "The Rudiments of Music".I didn't touch the keyboard that day.I did not impress him in anyway which was quite natural,but surprisingly I did not appall him either.
"Do you have a keyboard"He asked me.
"No,sir,but my sister has promised me to get me one if I attend the lessons for three months"
"So,how will you manage till that time?It is difficult to move forward without regular practice"
At home,I placed my present need before my parents,both of them strongly protested.
"Amma,you are asking me to learn a subject without getting me the text book"I reasoned.
"But what if you stop after one month.Then what will we do with that?Keep it in the showcase?!!"Amma asked
"I won't stop" I promised
"You will not attend these lessons for more than three months,either you will voluntarily quit or he will chuck you out!"Papa solemnly predicted.
"If I'd taken Engineering I would bee earning tons of money now and I wouldn't be begging before you like this"I said,giving a melodramatic sigh at the end.
After three days of relentless imploring I succeeded in getting them to buy me a key board.My heart was sailing in the sea of happiness that day.I was all set to become a junior Mozart.

Day:Two
I placed my hands over the keyboard (professionally)for the first time.It took him about half an hour to teach me how to properly place the hand over the keyboard,even after that I tended to position them wrongly.(If there is a Nobel prize for Patience he is definitely a potential candidate).
I somehow harboured this false,dangerous idea that the faster I play,the more impressed he is going to be.So what I produced was an unpleasant collection of sounds rather than music.
He would patiently play it again for me to understand. He pressed each key with the prowess of an expert,the sound of each note seemed to give him immense pleasure.
"When you play the piano,you should sit straight and read each note with style.You are sitting like this..."Saying this he gave me a mock demonstration of my posture which made me hang my head in shame!
A little later a sickening thought crossed my mind.He must be thinking that I'm a big stupid.I was just about to shrug it off when his voice sounded from behind solidly asserting my random reflection.
"Natasha,are you really able to follow what I'm saying?"
"Yes,sir"I replied miserably.
End of Day.2....I left the class with a dubious mind,questioning my musical skills.

Day:Three
It is always hard to get rid of a bad habit,I still couldn't cast off the speed nuisance(which would have worked out well with musical wizard)but I ended up pressing a wrong set of keys.
"Play in a rhythm.Only then you will get it right"He said.
"Okay,sir"I replied meekly.
"This rhythm,Natasha,you see you get it genetically.It can't be taught"He told me at the end of the class.
The same fact that papa had tried to convince me,the same one that I'd furiously revoked,I had it now from the mouth of an expert.I was alarmed,was he implicitly showing me the red card?
End of Day.three-I returned home with a self image completely torn apart by the realization of bitter truths.
Day:Four
Adversities compel you to bring out the best possible output.I carefully practiced the pieces that were to be the played the next day.It worked!!I was showing visible improvement,meaning I rose to the agreeable status of a mediocre beginner from the scornful position of a lame, flimsy toddler.
"You are playing much better now"He told.I beamed with pride.
"But people usually express the rhythm in the music by either tapping their feet or by a galloping movement of the fingers while playing.I don't see any expression of rhythm while you are playing"He observed.
"I'll try,sir...to express rhythm"I replied in a low voice.
He chose this day to test my cognizance of the world renowned musicians and their acclaimed works.The only two names I could relate to in the music arena are Beethoven and Mozart.(I had studied a chapter on Beethoven in my tenth standard,all I know about him could be condensed in a simple sentence,He was from Germany and he was deaf.And Mozart,I virtually knew nothing of him beyond his name until a few months back when I watched a movie based on his life 'Amadeus').I sadly realized that my musical ignorance was about to be unveiled.
He played a piece which instantly reminded me of 'eee januvariyil 'from the movie Akale.
"So,have you heard this before?"
I was glad I knew the answer.
"Isn't this from the movie Akale?"
He looked at me as if I had just uttered the worst blasphemy ever.
"This is 'Fur Elise' by Beethoven.Do you know Beethoven?"He asked me.
I was deeply offended,not because I had impetuously let out the wrong answer and insulted Beethoven,but by the awful realization that he has placed me with the bunch of blockheads in the peak of ignorance who were completely oblivious to the existence of a musical genius as Beethoven.
"Yes,sir,I have heard of him" I replied meekly.
He played the next piece.I was hearing it for the first time,it did not even strike a cord of familiarity.I weighed the risk of letting out the only other name I knew,Mozart.No,it was not worth it.I did not want to verbally kill any more musical prodigies.
"You haven't heard this??!!!It is quite famous"He was bewildered.
He played it once more thinking that I had not listened to it properly .Failing to draw even the slightest signs of awareness from my looks,
"This is Te...xyz"
I couldn't even properly make out the name as it was totally alien.My chafed pride kept me from asking him to repeat it again.I dearly hoped he would put an end to this ordeal.Luckily he stopped the quiz with a parting advice, "You should try to be more involved with music".I heaved a sigh of relief.
He was telling me something about 'Sa Re Ga mA..' and I seized the chance to let out something I knew.Do Re Me Fa..
"You know DO Re Me..?!!! ?"He spoke as if he has just heard a puppet recite Wordsworth..
The next arrow..!!It didn't hurt badly as before because I had partly accepted the unpleasant fact that he has tagged me as an ignoramus.
End of Day:Four I was half relieved,the chance of him throwing me out has partly faded although my musical ignorance was stripped naked.

That is where I stand now having completed one month of my Music Classes.I hope to continue the lessons for atleast one year.I wonder whether I'll be able to carry along the Herculean task that long with the fracuted,dilapidated musical skills that adamantly reside in my intransmutable genes.